The Walls

Keren Levi-Faran
Jan 30
2 min read

Not everything you built was meant to stay.

You Didn’t Mean to Build It

You didn’t build a wall.

You built safety.

A smile instead of tears.

A subject change instead of a pause.

A laugh instead of a need.

But over time, what protected you also separated you.

Stone by Stone

In psychoanalytic theory, defense mechanisms are the mind’s way of protecting itself from emotional pain.

They’re not flaws; they’re strategies.

But when left unexamined, they don’t just guard against hurt; they guard against life.

As Freud said, “We are never so vulnerable as when we love.”

So we protect.

And slowly, we disappear behind it.

The Cost of the Wall

You don’t yell - you withdraw.

You don’t lie - you downplay.

You’re not angry - just “tired.”

These are walls.

And maybe they saved you.

But now?

They cost you:

Connection

Clarity

The softness of being fully here

You don’t have to break them.

Just notice them.

And ask what they’re holding.

Quiet Questions, Cracked Open

What Emotion do I most avoid, and how do I disguise it?

Where am I overreacting but under-feeling?

What might happen if I didn’t protect myself just once?

“You were never meant to be a walled garden. You were meant to bloom in the open air.”

Jeanette LeBlanc

Let the Air In

You don’t need to break everything down.

Only to ask if the wall around your feelings keeps you safe or just keeps you small.

Some defenses grew like vines.

Beautiful.

Careful.

But no longer needed to keep the truth alive.

You are not a garden to protect.

You are the wildness that remembers how to bloom.

You’re invited to listen beyond the reaction.

Download the Emotion Behind the Reaction practice and begin where your feelings are first asked to be acknowledged.