Choosing Trust

Keren Levi-Faran
Feb 5
2 min read

A personal dilemma, a theory of risk, and the radical art of staying open.

The Freeze Before the Fall

They didn’t answer.

Or they did, but in a way that felt cold.

Detached. Delayed. Different.

And something in you froze.

Not because they hurt you but because your body remembered what it means to be first and left behind.

So you pull back.

You decide:

Not this time. Not again.

But deep down, you know you’re not responding to them.

You’re responding to a fear you’ve met before.

The Prisoner’s Reflex

There’s a famous game theory model:

The Prisoner’s Dilemma.

Two people were arrested separately.

If both stay silent, both walk away with less harm.

However, if one betrays and the other doesn’t, the one who betrays suffers.

So what happens?

They betray first.

Just in case.

It’s not cruel.

It’s a strategy.

Self-preservation at the cost of connection.

Sound familiar?

We do this too in conversations, relationships, and even in love:

Protect first.

Speak second.

Open never.

The Heart’s Dilemma

We don’t just play this game with others.

We play it with ourselves.

To trust or to retreat.

To share or to shield.

To reach or to rehearse rejection in advance.

And whenever we choose fear, we reinforce the story: that people leave.

That we’re too much.

That silence is safer than asking.

But maybe… trust isn’t naïve.

Maybe it’s radical.

Maybe it says: “I know the risk, and I’m opening anyway.”

Micro-Choices, Massive Shifts

Where did I withhold trust before the other person even made a move?

How do I react when I don’t feel safe?

What choice would bring me closer to who I want to be, not who I fear I’ll become?

“You must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible.”

Anton Chekhov

Trust Is a Loop You Can Break Gently

Trust doesn’t begin in certainty.

It begins with a pause.

In the space between reflex and response.

In the moment, you choose not to repeat the fear but to listen for something else.

You don’t need to know how it ends.

You just need to decide which version of you gets to begin.

Choosing trust is never about being sure.

It’s about being willing.

To pause. To soften.

To begin again.

Download the Inner Dilemma Map and meet the turning point where trust can take shape.