Belonging to Pay
- Keren Levi-Faran
- Mar 27
- 2 min read
You kept yourself close. But leave yourself outside the door.
The Price of Being Easy
You didn’t disappear.
You just nodded.
Laughed when it wasn’t funny.
Softened your voice until it no longer felt like yours.
You stayed in the room but left yourself outside the door.
When “Included” Means Invisible
We’re wired to belong.
However, what we often refer to as connection is sometimes merely compliance.
We learn young:
Be Agreeable
Don’t disrupt
Stay likeable
Because inclusion feels safe.
And safety feels like love.
But sometimes, the cost of inclusion is authenticity.
This Isn’t Just About People
It’s about:
Families where you had to be the “good one.”
Jobs where you only share the polished parts
Cultures that prize silence over presence
Friendships where honesty feels like a risk
You shrink.
You smile.
You pay.
With your voice.
Your needs.
Your breath.
And still wonder why the connection feels like an effort.
But real belonging doesn’t cost you.
What You Give to Stay
Where have I traded truth for approval?
What part of me gets quiet just to stay close?
What would it feel like to belong without shape-shifting?
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
Brené Brown
You don’t need to fit in.
You don’t need to perform.
Only to notice what you’ve been leaving at the door to feel allowed inside.
Sometimes, the cost of inclusion is too high because it asks for too much of what is already yours.
You are allowed to stay true to yourself without becoming someone else.
You’re invited to name what you’ve been paying.
Download the Belonging Tax Worksheet and begin where your voice is still waiting to return.
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