Attached to Self
- Keren Levi-Faran
- Mar 13
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 28
The ways we bond before we know we're choosing
A Pull, a Pause
You want a connection
You reach out
Smile
Say the right thing
But the moment someone gets close
Something in you tightens
Or maybe you're the one who stays
Waits
Feels too much, too fast
Whatever your reflex
It's not random
It's familiar
Protective
It was shaped before you could name it
And now it's asking to be seen
The First Maps of Love
Attachment theory begins here
We learn about closeness long before we understand it
Our earliest relationships teach us what love feels like
Safe
Overwhelming
Inconsistent
Unreachable
These lessons become reflexes
Patterns the body remembers
Some reach and fear they'll be left
Some pull back before it even begins
Some hold and trust
Some crave and resist in the same breath
More than labels
These are strategies
Each one
Once
Kept us safe
From Reflex to Relationship
You don't have to fix your attachment
Only understand what it's protecting
What memory does it echo
What emotion is trying not to be felt again
In the pause between reaction and recognition
You open space
You shift
You remember that closeness
Doesn't have to cost you
Questions That Bring You Closer
When do I feel emotionally unsafe in relationships
And how do I react
Do I fear being left
Or being fully seen
What kind of closeness feels overwhelming
And why
What would a secure connection feel like
In this season of my life
I thought, briefly, that I would never feel as intensely connected to the world, to another human being, as I did at that moment.
Jojo Moyes
You don't need to fix the way you connect
Only notice what you've been protecting
And ask
Does it still need defending
Attachment is not a flaw
It's a memory
Shaped into motion
And once you see the shape
You are free to move differently
The closer you are to yourself
The safer the connection becomes
You're invited to meet this shift softly
Download the practice
Pattern to Presence
And begin
Where the reflex begins to loosen
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